Attention Politicians in Coastal States: Here is Your Hurricane Speech

NYC Mayor Bloomberg, October 27, 2012 
Delivering Remarks Pertaining to Hurricane Sandy

During the past 20 years, there have been too many occasions when politicians from Donald Trump (Republican) to Ray Nagin (Democrat) to Michael Bloomberg (?) have given incorrect information to their constituents pertaining to approaching hurricanes. In each case, that incorrect information caused significant disruption.

 

Why politicians feel the urge to “play meteorologist” is unfathomable, but since they do, I have prepared a speech for when the inevitable hurricane approaches. I hereby release copyright for anyone who wishes to use it. 

 

To the people of [insert jurisdiction], it is vital with Hurricane [insert name of hurricane] approaching, that we heed the forecasts from the National Hurricane Center and from our other trusted meteorologists. 

 

In addition, if you live near the coast, please follow your city or county’s recommendations pertaining to evacuations. Even if you have ridden out a hurricane before, if they order an evacuation, please follow their instructions. 

 

What am I doing at this critical time? I’m working with my team on how we recover quickly from this storm. Please know that we are working night and day to ensure your safety during this daunting time. With God’s help, we will get through this.

 

Thank you and good night. 

 

Especially at a time when a hurricane is coming, a shorter speech is better. 

 

You are welcome and I hope you don’t have to use this speech in this or any other year.