I'm reading my "Wall Street Journal" this morning and I learn I am in serious trouble.  In a column, "The Gift That Needs Forgiving" I learned that, from women's point of view, I am a lousy gift-giver.  In fact, I have even given Kathleen one of the gifts (the large, fluffy bath towel [but I had hers monogramed!]) that is specifically described as a bad gift.

My "favorite" quote: Women tend to care more about gifts. They shop more, and think more about them. They attach more emotion to them. And they can be more demanding and less direct. (If I ask my husband what he wants for the holidays, he will say "nothing" and mean it. If he asks me, I will say "nothing," as well. And God help him if he believes me.) Making matters even worse: When it comes to bad gifts, women have the memory of elephants.

OK, so I am a lousy gift-giver.  I confess.

Now, let me explain two things about women (as a group) that drive me crazy.  I just finished lunch.  I ordered a hamburger.  Simple right?  For reasons that I do not understand, waitresses cannot seem to fathom that this particular male does not want lettuce or mayo on a burger.  My order from 30 minutes ago:  "I'd like the burger with no cheese, no lettuce, just mustard and tomato (ketchup was on the table)."

How did the burger arrive?  With lettuce, no mustard and no tomato.  It is that way virtually every time!  Regardless of how I place the order, a burger arrives with lettuce and/or mayo if the waitress is female.  On a few occasions, I have sent the burger back (didn't have time today) and it STILL comes back with lettuce ("you don't want lettuce?").  Before you say, "just take off the lettuce" this was at Chili's and the lettuce is in tiny shreds.  Yes, I can taste it.  Lettuce is for salads!

The second thing, I wish to qualify before I state the problem. Not all women do this.  I'm in a long line at a fast food restaurant.  I, like many men, have figured out what we want and even have the money/credit card in our hands.  The women in front of us get to the cashier and say, "Hmmm. What do I want?"!  Three or four minutes are then spent in discussion as to what the order should be.  Then, the money is dug out of a purse or, worse, a check is written.  I was even at a McAlister's Deli once when this happened (including writing a check) when a woman decided she needed a brownie and wrote a second check.

So, while not all women do this, when this behavior occurs it is virtually always a woman.  Ladies, there is a reason it is called fast food!

Women of the world, I'll make you a deal:  If you'll hold the mayo and have your order ready, I'll try to be a better gift-giver.


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